Taking care of yourself and taking care of others can sneak up on you. It starts off innocently enough – maybe with the wish to take good care of your family, your spouse, your children and your friends, but then it gets out of control when you find yourself running to and fro for everyone except for you. If you find yourself in a situation where everyone is getting most (NO, no ALL) of their needs met, except you — then you know you have a problem and something needs to change in order to bring your life back into balance.

When you are the “glue” that holds your family together, it can be hard to take care of yourself and your needs, there are too many other tasks that need to get done, people and children who need things and work that needs to be done….bigger thoughts like self-care, emotional care, spiritual care even physical needs often take a backseat…but how do you begin to change this pattern?

When you are the “glue” in your family or friend group, sometimes changing this pattern is not something your spouse, children, friends or family want because it means that you will not be as available to “do” for them and take care of things for them. One of the most important lessons for everyone who finds themselves to be the “glue” and not taking care of themselves because they are too busy caring for everyone else to learn is to S.T.O.P.


S – Self-care Practice self-care. Set at least 1 thing each day that you will do to take care of yourself, no matter what. Something just for you.

T – Tell your family, spouse, friends or children how they can help you. Don’t make this a choice. Start expecting them to do their part in taking care of the house, managing their own life, or entertaining themselves. You may need to teach them these skills, but it will be worth it in the end when they become more capable and self-sufficient and you have less on your plate.

O – Offer only what you want to offer. Refuse to take on tasks out of guilt or a need to over-give in order to seek love and affection from others. Instead, only offer what you really want to give out of your EXCESS time and energy. If you don’t actually have any EXCESS time or energy, then NOW isn’t the time to offer to do anything extra for anyone else.

P – Be patient with yourself as you change the habit of over-giving, and praise yourself when you do ask others to take over tasks in order to provide you with the time and energy you need to practice self-care and pursue your own interests and meet your own needs.

The Trivedi Effect

The Trivedi Effect is a wonderful energy that can be used to help you overcome setbacks and challenges in life. If can help you perseveres through the “in between” times and finally get to enjoy watching what was once a dream for your life, become your reality! Blessings using the Trivedi Effect energy are designed to connect and strengthen your connection with God and the Divine. The Trivedi Effect energy has the power to reignite and strengthen your soul deep purpose and reconfigure your spirit back to its original blueprint.

Working with Shirley

To work with Shirley Holmlund on creating a wonderful life despite setbacks and imperfections, please email her at shirley@shirleyholmund.com to set up an appointment.